In This I Can Find Peace

Rejected by all I know
Unaccepted by those I don't
here I sit alone and unwanted

waiting for my sorrow and pain to be seen
here I sit alone and uncared for
please see me

I sit here alone and quiet
listening, just listening
I hear nothing
I'm alone, alone in the dark

I wait for what I'm meant for
I hear nothing
"Have I missed my chance Oh God?"
I hear nothing
"If you have nothing you want from me then I might as well be dead"
I hear nothing

I raise a sun and wait
I hear nothing
God you said you cared
But you haven't shown it
I hear nothing

I start to pull the trigger
I hear a voice, a female voice
it rises and falls in a song of praise
drawing nearer, always nearer

She stops as she sees me with gun poised
and the tears roll down her cheeks
she runs to me
careing in her voice
saying "Don't give up I love you"

Those words echoed through me
So strange yet so familiar
I said "Oh God you care! but those I know, don't.
But in this I can find solace
In this I can find peace"

In this I can find peace

By - Jamey Holder.

This week has been a total waste of time for me spiritually. I couldn't even think of a time when I had felt God close to me when asked. But the ONLY good thing that came of this week is the fact that I now know where I stand with people I once considered friends. It seemed one shunned me whenever she got the chance except when I was making noise. My cousin treated me like I had the plague whenever I came within her sight when she was with friends... and she complains when other people do the same to her... but anyway that's her story not mine. When I was walking aimlessly around and I just happened to come across her and her friends she basically told me to go away. and the friends she was hangin with didn't even give me an encouraging glance. I went out onto a blacony to say hi to someone i hadn't seen in over a week and she was all happy to see me and talkative. but her friend completely shunned me unless I asked her a question. and then after a couple minutes just flat out said go away. so I did. so now I know where I stand with people I thought were friends. if someone asked me now who my friends were, I'd say I have no friends.

ok, I'm not gonna go into detail. but my life has become a mass of confusing little twists and turns. and there are many many things that add more confusion to it. (like I said not too much detail). so If you could, would you pray for claification, and stuff like that for me? I'm praying too, but that's one of the confusing details in my life, religion. so... yeah... if you could jus pray for me. I'd be very very VERY gratefull... thanks.